Smoke
by Halley the Comet
Summary: Penny doesn't understand why Sheldon keeps sneaking outside, until she follows him out one time. One-shot.


**Edited slightly. Enjoy!**

* * *

Sheldon had been acting weird lately.

This was nothing new, but now he seemed to be acting even weirder than usual. Penny wasn't sure if she was the only one who had noticed but, glancing around her group of friends, it seemed likely that she was.

It started not too long ago. Sometimes, even when they were all sat watching the guys beloved Star Wars/Trek movies on the TV, Sheldon would get up, excuse himself abruptly, and walk out. Penny suspected Leonard, Raj and Howard were just glad to watch the film uninterrupted, so they just let him be. She was still surprised, however, that they hadn't said anything.

And when he came back, it was even weirder. He would greet them (if he remembered to) and then go into the bathroom. Penny had noticed he would always wash up, even shower sometimes, and then come back into the room. As if nothing had happened.

Penny watched Sheldon carefully, when he wasn't looking. Maybe he was ill? No, that wasn't possible. An ill Sheldon would kick up such a fuss he'd probably send a mob screaming from the apartment in five seconds.

_So what is it_? Penny wondered, still looking at Sheldon. She quickly looked away as Sheldon suddenly glanced up, hoping he hadn't seen her staring at him. Luckily his eyes went to his jacket, slung with surprising carelessness, on his desk chair. He stood up and, quite casually, strolled over to it, shrugging it onto his body.

Leonard, perhaps for the first time, noticed Sheldon had stood up. Through a mouthful of food he asked, 'Where are you going?'

Sheldon looked shifty for a second, and then answered, 'I'm going for a walk.' Penny stared at him, but he continued, not noticing. 'Did you know that eating Chinese food and watching TV at the same time isn't as healthy as going outside and walking around?'

'Mmmn.' Leonard went back to watching the TV, not really bothered.

Penny rolled her eyes. They were all so oblivious. Since when did Sheldon care about exercise? She didn't have much time to ponder on this though, as Sheldon went out of the apartment, shutting the door behind him. The only one who seemed to notice Sheldon's odd behavior was Amy, who threw a quick glance at the door with a frown, but even she had long since gotten used to Sheldon's odd ways and went back to watching the TV with her head leaning on her hand.

She decided to follow him. Pulling herself away from Leonard, she stood up and made for the door.

'Hey, where are you going?' Leonard was staring at her.

Penny smiled faintly. 'Just to get something from my apartment,' she lied smoothly. 'I'll be back in a minute.' Leonard nodded, his gaze lingering on her for a moment or two, and then went back to the TV.

* * *

Jogging down the many stairs, Penny stopped and leaned against the wall when she got to the last floor. She wished someone would fix that stupid elevator soon.

She spotted Sheldon immediately, standing outside. He was leaning against the wall. There was something in his hand. His eyes were closed. He opened them briefly to bring something up to his mouth, and then closed them again.

Penny opened the door, walking slowly over to him. 'Sheldon, sweetie, what are you doing?'

Sheldon jumped, not noticing Penny had followed him downstairs, and automatically turned to face her. Penny's mouth fell open of her own accord when she saw a fine trail of grey smoke blow out of his mouth. She looked down at his hands in shock, noticing a cigarette in his left hand and a dark green lighter in the other.

'Penny?'

'Sheldon!' she gasped. 'You... _smoke_?'

'I...' Sheldon looked lost for words, staring at her, looking much like a child that was receiving a scolding. 'Well, there's no need to state the obvious...' He looked guilty, shoving the lighter into his jacket pocket. Too late.

Penny wasn't sure whether to tease him, be amazed, or be strangely admiring to the fact that Sheldon _smoked_. Sheldon Cooper, who showered twice a day, and made notes about his bowel movements, smoked cigarettes. Cigarettes ruined your body, made your fingers go a weird colour. And yet Sheldon was smoking them anyway._  
_

'So _this _is what you've been doing for the past few weeks? Sneaking out to have a smoke?' Penny had her hands on her hips, and had an almost taunting tone in her voice, making Sheldon's face go an impressive crimson color.

Oh, she wished she had her camera.

'Actually I have smoke for much longer than th -' Sheldon caught himself, and stubbed out his cigarette expertly on the nearest bin.

'How long?' Penny asked.

'Not long...about a month, maybe...' Sheldon didn't meet Penny's eyes. His face twitched.

'Sheldon.'

'Okay, five years,' Sheldon admitted, a cross look on his face. 'It's not like an _addiction_ -' He waved his hands around for emphasis, 'I can stop whenever I want to.'

'_Can_ you?'

'Of course. This is my last cigarette. I threw the rest away.' Sheldon had a superior look on his face, but Penny narrowed her eyes, shoved a hand inside his jacket pocket, and brought out a packet of cigarettes, her eyebrows raised. Sheldon's superior look slid away as fast as a retreating wave.

Penny frowned, a thought suddenly occurring to her. 'Hold on...you say you've smoked for five years? How come it's only recently I've seen you going outside?'

'Well, since our social group expanded over the years, it was harder to get any time to myself.' Sheldon seemed to find something fascinating on his hands, and didn't look at Penny as he talked.

Penny felt a small flicker of sympathy for her socially awkward friend, and sighed. 'Okay, here's the deal,' she said. 'I wont tell anyone you smoke if you quit - _now.' _At this last remark she waved the packet of cigarettes at Sheldon, and pressed them into his hand. She nodded at the bin, where the remains of Sheldon's stubbed-out cigarette lay, and Sheldon grumbled a little and threw the pack away.

* * *

'Um, Penny...?'

Penny spun around and smiled at her boyfriend. 'Hey, Leonard.' She noticed the confused look on his face. 'What's wrong?'

'It's Sheldon. He's acting...weird.' He beckoned to the apartment.

They opened the door to find Sheldon sitting on the chair. He had a pen in one hand, which he brought up to his mouth. He was holding it like a cigarette and Penny figured it out at once. She blinked as she saw he was also chewing gum, his jaw moving desperately. 'Just one more,' he was whimpering, 'then I'll stop, I promise.'

Penny took Leonard by the arm and they sat on the sofa, Leonard still shooting bemused glances in Sheldon's direction.

'Nah, that's normal,' Penny said.

* * *

**I got the idea from reading that Jim Parsons actually did smoke for a number of years but quit sometime before he turned forty. I was surprised to read that, as I'd never picture him with a cigarette, but there you go.**


End file.
